Not The Arts Council of Northern Ireland

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Welcome to Not The Arts Council

Definitely Not The
Chief Executive of
Not The Arts Council

Welcome to Not The Arts Council. Just to state the obvious, this is not the Arts Council of Northern Ireland's official website. This has been a momentous week for Not The Arts Council. In keeping with Government Guidelines, we have seen the closure of those bastards at the Ormeau Baths Gallery with a potential saving to the public purse of £300,000 a year. Serves them right for turning down the Talbot Street Arts Centre and sets a great example for the rest of that miserable shower of arts organisations! There are some whingers who think that the role of Not The Arts Council is to advance the arts in Northern Ireland and to fight the corner for the arts. Of course, we all know that is nonsense. If this was the case, we would have been shouting loudly about the ridiculously low level of funding for the arts of Northern Ireland. Instead, we have done a marvellous job of telling the world about what a marvellous job we are doing. Indeed, this week we are proud to launch a very expensive public awareness campaign to promote the Not The Arts Council's work to the Kidz by putting lots of posters of sexy lady legs on buses. Congratulations to all involved in this marvellous campaign to divert money away from the arts and into the Not The Arts Council. This continues the trend we began when our esteemed leaderene took over in 2000. At that time we only had 40 members of staff, but now we are delighted to have 49 members of staff ensuring that maximum resources are devoted to the maintenance and promotion of the splendid Not The Arts Council. Again, we pay credit to our leaderene for setting a great example by removing £75,500 a year from the arts and devoting it to herself. Thanks be to God that we have such a visionary in charge. In line with the policy of reducing the strain on the public purse imposed by the arts, we have been busy looking at the areas we can cut costs. The first thing we did was to comission DeloitteWaterhouseCapita to look at ways to save money. A mere 18 months and £120,000 later their 3 page report was submitted for our approval. They came up with some radical recommendations, which we hope to implement very soon. Watch this space. If you want to contribute articles, observations or images to this blog, please email Roisin McDoughnut at


At 7:17 AM, Blogger ntacnifan said...

Why is the eminent 'leaderene-ess', Ms. Rosemary Kelly not prominently featured on the 'not the arts council' website? She has had a large part to play in the the machinations of recent savage money cuts...


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