Not The Arts Council of Northern Ireland

Saturday, March 04, 2006

QUESTIONS QUESTIONS


.............Indeed, a question a lot of you will be asking yourselves these days.
To be serious though, there can be little doubt that, with arts organisations feeling the pinch turn into a squeeze turn into asphyxiation, there a few more sensible ways of spending taxpayer's money than paying bus companies to stick up posters of gorgeous girls pins on the back end of a bus. I certainly know one, or two of the staff here at Not The Arts Council have been patting themselves on the back (and a few other places too) as they gaze at this wonderful 'artwork'.
We are very fortunate at Not The Arts Council to have some real highfliers from the advertising world to advise us on what is going down in 'Da hoodie'. We are assured that young people today will think that a picture of half a naked woman with a tatoo will be so cool and groovy that they will literally be unable to resist doing art once they have seen the posters. Marvellous. Obviously, there wont be any art for them to do because all the money will have gone into the advertising budget, but at least the kids will be down with Not The Arts Council. In fact, if you listen hard enough I think you can hear them chanting 'Down with....'

Consultation Mad
Following last year's successful 'Conversation with ourselves' as part of the RPA, we presented the unanimous voice of Not The Arts Council and passed it off as your views. Thankyou for your silence on that one. This year, we are going one step better and we are going to actually publish the truth. Yes, we are going to ask you to take part in a survey to assess how well we do our job and then put the results onto our website so that all those confused young people who log on after reading the buses will know the truth about Not The Arts Council.
We would really appreciate it if you would spare a few minutes to answer the following questions:
1) Are we? a:Brilliant b: Superb c: Fantastic
2)Should we pay our Chief Executive? a: More b: A Lot More c: An Absolute Fortune

And the results of our consultation show that 105% of the public adore us; a massive 125% of artists think that our Chief Executive is already answer c; and a reassuringly gullible 146% of respondents believe more arts money should be spent on consultations.

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