NOT THE ARTS COUNCIL SLAMS VIGILANTE FIREFIGHTERS
Today, a spokesperson from Not The Arts Council condemned the action of a group of irresponsible firecrews. "We were devastated to hear that last night an inferno at Clotworthy Arts Centre was extinguished by a bunch of yobbos with hoses. Following our strategic hammering of Local Authority Arts Venues, we were beginning to carefully implement phase 2 of the elimination of the arts in Northern Ireland. The last thing we expected was that the public services in Northern Ireland would have enough money to fritter away on putting out a fire at a regional arts centre. Obviously, we have registered our strongest disapproval to the head of the Fire Service and we will not in future be giving any advance warning of our actions. We should have learnt the lesson from the Ormeau Baths Gallery and not let anyone know our plans ahead of time."
The Fire Service, investigating the source of the blaze, are analysing half burnt, rejected grant application forms close to the heart of the fire.