Not The Arts Council of Northern Ireland

Monday, March 27, 2006

NOT THE ARTS COUNCIL GETS ITS SHARE OF THE PIE

Not The Arts Council is delighted to be making a significant contribution to Not The Government's stated aim to reduce frontline services year on year in order to free up resources to invest in administration and additional bureaucracy. Our latest initiative involves recruiting an additional seven members of staff resulting in potential savings of more than £180,00 per year in spending on arts provision. We realise that some people are questioning the wisdom of some of these new posts. So we would like to take the time to explain these positions.
The employment of a permanent Arts Support Officer has raised some eyebrows among those who don't believe that the arts in Northern Ireland will need supporting on a permanent basis on account of the fact that a few more years under Not The Arts Council will ensure that, in a few years time, there will be no arts left in Northern Ireland. What these people don't understand is that the absence of any arts in Northern Ireland will only serve to increase the efficiency of the Arts Support Officer, who will be able to boast 100% satisfaction ratings since there will be no complaints to record.
We are particularly proud of our new post of Troubles Archivist. Here at Not The Arts Council have taken the step of employing an archivist because we know that, with no current activity, the onlt thing left is to look to the past. In addition, we believe that this post will make important discoveries about arts intervention during the Troubles so that Northern Ireland will be fully prepared to roll out suitable programmes should they ever return.
We are delighted that the announcement of the recruitment of a new Human Resources Officer has been universally welcomed in view of the fact that Not The Arts Council now has so many additional staff. The rationale for the post is self evident.
An Assistant Finance Officer will be appointed for the same reason - somebody is needed to make sure we dont spend too much on the arts now that we are increasing our wages bill.
The Capital Projects Officer will be appointed to make sure that things aren't built too quickly.
The appointment of a strategic Planning Officer will ensure that Not The Arts Council can continue to steer a course towards the realisation of a complete overhaul of the arts - replacing it with Not The Arts Council staff.
We are particularly pleased to have come up with a Festivals and Venues officer at the present moment in time. This post respresents the ultimate job, coming, as it does, just weeks after we have almost abolished the portfolio by slashing support to Queen's Festival and completely eliminating support to regional venues. Applicants for this post are advised that they will not be ruled out on the basis of already having a full time job, since the hours for this job will not be too arduous.

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